Brooklyn Sleights

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Visiting Thespian Runs Up Over $6,000 In Honking Fines, Threatens Discrimination Suit

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(Brooklyn Heights, NY)  Homer the Honker, a longtime cast member on the Muppet Show, ran up a hefty $6,250 tab in honking fees during his recent visit to Brooklyn Heights to film Letters to Santa- a Muppet Christmas special- local police spokesman Lou Henderson reported.  In what would constitute blatant disregard of the city’s stringent no-honking policy, Honker allegedly honked “at least 50 times” according to Henderson, “[m]aybe even more; the violations we cited were limited to only those which occurred on-set,” he continued.  The city enacted its moratorium on honking in 1986, in an effort to curb noise pollution, though city residents have sometimes wondered if the ordinance had ever been enforced.  

     Reached at his home in Los Angeles for cmment, Honker defended his actions and accused the “predominantly human” NYPD of unfairly targeting [Muppet] honkers.  “Honk!  Honk, honk, honk.  Honk! [sic]” seethed Honker, emphatically squeezing his nose with each utterance.  

Mr. Honker alleges discrimination by the New York Police Department in its enforcement of it's "No Honking" policy

Homer the Honker in an undated publicity photo

      In a statement released Friday, Muppet Show spokesfrog Kermit [the Frog] lashed out at the police force: “We are both shocked and furious with the NYPD’s utterly discriminatory actions, which are especially surprising in light of the publicity and lucrative tourism upswing the city enjoyed following the overwhelming success of our second feature-length film, The Muppets Take Manhattan.”  Muppet Show general counsel Sam the Eagle called the slurry of fines “ridiculous. Absolute hogwash” (much to Miss Piggy’ chagrin), pointing to Section 24-221(a) of the city code, which bans a “‘claxon’ from being sounded ‘except as a sound signal of imminent danger.'”  “No reasonable Muppet or human would consider Mr. Honker’s nose to constitute a ‘claxon’ as defined by the city’s statute,” Eagle explained.  “It is neither an ‘electromechanical horn nor alerting device,” Eagle continued, referring to the code’s definition of claxon, “Mr. Honker’s nose is clearly outside the scope of the statute, and the NYPD damn well knows that.”

     The Muppet Show plans to issue a notice within the next two weeks requesting all Muppet honkers cited by the city for honking within the past 36 months to contact its legal department for inclusion in an imminent class action lawsuit.  Beaker, the Muppet Show‘s public information officer, could be reached but not comprehended for comment.

 

 

The city enacted it's no-honking policy in 1986 after the raucous Mets' World Series victory parade, fearing that people might start thinking the city liked the Mets more than their beloved, more-spoiled Yankees.

The city's no-honking policy is clearly posted throughout its boroughs

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Written by Matt

November 20, 2008 at 6:24 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

One Response

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  1. Any word on whether Rizzo the Rat survived the trip in the midst of the neighborhood crackdown on rodents? Oh God. There’s that inviting fake rock/rat bait on the yard of one of the brownstones on Pierrepont. Rizzo?!?!

    brazillion

    November 23, 2008 at 1:45 am


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